Could Latisse change iris colour?

This is something that I've been thinking about daily since starting on Latisse.  I have hazel eyes and really don't want them to change.  Iris pigmentation is one of the scariest potential side effects on the Latisse list.  It comes from the experience with Lumigan, the glaucoma medication which is the same medication as Latisse.  With Lumigan, the incidence of iris pigmentation using the 0.03% solution was approximately 1.5%.  This is not a rare complication, but actually qualifies it as a common side effect (defined as 1-10% incidence).
The method of administration is obviously different-Lumigan goes directly into the eye and Latisse is painted on the lash line but Allergan themselves said the dose was 1/20th the dose of Lumigan.  Considering the drug itself is the same, this implies that a dose to the eye is expected.  It's not inconceivable that a liquid applied to the lash line could enter the eye.  Optrex, a manufacturer of eye drops in the UK has capitalised on this with an eye mist called Actimist.  The pictures I initially posted here disappeared but you can see images of how it works on the website.  They have a nifty demonstration where they spray a special dye on the eyelid and you can see it on the eye after blinking.  Another thing that promotes the idea of something being applied around the eye getting into it is that an easy way of applying eye drops is also to apply to the inside corner of your eye and just blink to disperse.
So, I do think Latisse could enter the eye during use and therefore could lead to iris pigmentation.  This is probably even more of a risk if a little too much fluid is used or it's applied to close to the inside corner of the eye.  I'm noticing results now (even my sister noticed!) so will keep going with my supply but I don't think I'll continue long term.  I'd like to see if there are official reports of iris pigmentation (not blog comments) before committing to it!

Super Botox Me

Anybody get Botox for Christmas?  I ask because apparently Simon Cowell gave Botox to his friends as gifts: story here

With my time off for the holidays, I had free time to mess around online.  I came across this documentary, Super Botox Me, which was made for BBC America.  The journalist is 39 and investigates to see what happens when she undergoes nonsurgical cosmetic procedures.

This is the preview:

She definitely looks tired and a bit sad so I suppose she could look better with  injectables.  In the full version there is a segment where model agents and magazine people pick her apart.  It's awful!  I think they would find many more faults with me.

As part of her travels she goes to Dr Frederic Brandt in New York.  Apparently he does Madonna's Botox.  He seems to have some interesting and advanced techniques, including injecting into the neck muscles to tighten the jaw line.  This is called a Nefertiti neck lift in some places.  Would be a bit nervous having that one done!  For some reason I can't find the link when I try to embed it right now, but it's here.  He seems nice and I'd love to go to him because his work on other people seems good...but somebody should definitely handcuff him the next time he tries to do anything with his own face.

This is the worst bit though-Fraxel around her eyes:

The video here doesn't show her when she gets back to her hotel that night and has blood streaming down her face!  She also had to get up regularly during the night to change dressings on her face.  Her eyes did look better after it but it was definitely not an easy option.

You can see the full episode here by downloading the Veoh viewer.  Seems to be fine.

It was an interesting documentary.   She obviously felt she could do with being improved from the beginning-it's not like she thought she was perfect and suddenly got forced into feeling insecure.  She did start to get a taste for it after a few injections though.  I could kind of see how!  She had unlimited funds and could go to whoever she wanted.  They all promised her great things.  It would be easy to get caught up in it.  She hadn't even seen the results of her forehead botox before she was rushing off for some in her neck.

She looks better at the end, definitely.  Most of it is really subtle though, except for her frozen forehead.  She had around 50 injections and Fraxel to achieve it all though.  I wonder how much could have been achieved by doing a different set of injections or less.  How different would she look if she just wore some good makeup?

Still think I'd get a little bit of filler if I had the money...

Christmas dinner calories

Well, I'm already well over my happy weight and there will be major dieting in the New Year.  I've been going to the gym but it was only enough to stop me gaining with all the crap I've been eating!
I wrote about the article that claimed fasted exercise could be protective against weight gain and insulin resistance when eating a higher calorie and fat diet (NY Times article here).  The study was poor as far as I'm concerned-including increasing calories 2 weeks in because the control group hadn't gained as much as they wanted them to!  The intensity of exercise would also be difficult for the average person to maintain for 60-90mins, especially fasted.  However, some exercise tomorrow would be a good idea when you consider these calories (apparently given by NHS and quoted in a number of UK newspapers):

IT'S estimated there are 956 calories in an average Christmas dinner and 48g of fat. Here is a breakdown: 

Roast turkey (90g) = 149 calories, 4g fat 

Roast potatoes (85g) = 127 calories, 4g fat 

Stuffing (100g) = 231 calories, 15g fat 

Bread sauce (45g) = 42 calories, 1g fat 

Roast parsnips (90g) = 102 calories, 6g fat 

Boiled carrots = 14 calories, 0g fat 

Boiled Brussels sprouts = 32 calories, 1g fat Gravy (50g) = 17 calories, 1g fat 

Cranberry sauce (30g) = 45 calories, 0g fat 

Pork sausage (20g) = 62 calories, 5g fat 

Bacon (40g) = 135 calories, 11g fat 

And extra treats include: 

1 slice of Christmas cake (70g) = 249 calories, 8g fat 

1 portion of chocolate log (30g) = 101 calories, 3g fat 

1 portion of cheese and biscuits = 394 calories, 27g fat 

1 portion of mixed nuts (40g) = 243 calories, 22g fat 

1 portion Christmas pudding (100g), custard and brandy butter = 587 calories, 22g fat 

1 mince pie and double cream = 368 calories, 25g fat 

1 glass of mulled wine = 245 calories, 0g fat

That's only dinner too!   I'm sure many/most of us could manage some kind of breakfast and at least a few chocolates in the evening.  It would be pretty easy to clock up 3000-4000 calories in the day.  For me it's probably 2-3 times as much as I should be eating if I eat dinner and two other meals.  According to my GoWearFit anyway.  (More about GoWearFit/Bodybugg after my last gorging of 2010).  


And how many miles would you have to jog to work it off?  Using the usual estimate of 100 calories a mile, you could work off the excess of the day with a nice 30 mile run.  Any takers?







This video won't stop me eating tomorrow, but it's definitely the one that will be stopping me putting my hand into the bag of M&Ms after Christmas when the diet starts!

Nutcracker in Toronto

Nothing about getting older this time, just feeling like a child again!
I decided to head along to Canadian National Ballet's Nutcracker in the Four Seasons Centre today.  I went to the 1pm matinée perfomance thinking that it would give me the evening free just in case any exciting opportunities came my way!
I know the Four Seasons Centre has come under attack from some people as an architectural disaster, but I really like it.  I think the shape of the building fits its location and I love the wall of windows facing University Avenue.  My seat was in the second cheapest section in ring 4.  It was easy to find my way to the ring and I was pleasantly surprised by the view.  The rings are built vertically so you're not trying to crane around somebody's head to see the stage.  I think ring 5 might be a bit toooo high though-they were almost on the ceiling.
The performance was wonderful and full of fun.  All the dancers were excellent but I was particularly impressed by the little boy who had the part of Misha-Siphe November.  He was so endearing and energetic.  A joy to watch!
I had fond memories of my poor dad having to be the one bringing me to the ballet when I was younger (and a lot thinner).  We didn't get to see performances which were quite so spectacular though!  I loved every minute.  Plenty of children there who were quite as little mice.  It was the adults who were misbehaving and talking.  A nice touch is story time for the kids 45 mins before it starts and autograph signing by some of the cast members at the interval.

Definitely definitely recommended!

How NOT to sell me a cosmetic procedure.....

I am generally dissatisfied with my skin.  I've been pondering microdermabrasion vs peels etc for a long time but never went further than buying Roc's home microdermabrasion kit with the vibrating/spinning applicator

I pretty randomly chose Skin Vitality as somewhere to try, they happened to be featured in a Groupon offering cheap Botox.  I pushed aside my other knowledge of them-their appearance in the Global News 16:9 Botox exposé (episode is Worry Lines).  In that episode they were one of the clinics where medical supervision was via Skype.  The doctor who injected my Botox (Dr Torgerson) was featured as someone who does it himself!

Anyway, I emailed and asked about prices of peels.  The reply said they started at $85 and offered a free consultation.  Why not?  I booked a midday appointment today and trotted in.

I was met by a "medical consultant".  Very friendly.  Briefly heard that I wanted to know about peels but then told me my concerns of uneven skin and fine lines around my eyes etc would be much better treated with skin tightening.  Their machine is an Elos machine which uses IPL (intense pulsed light) and radiofrequency waves apparently.   I suppose IPL is usually a big selling point but I'm a bit biased.  Wasted a pile of money on almost completely unsuccessful hair removal with IPL a few years ago.  I was bombarded with information about the technology, the features on Oprah, how it would fix my sagging skin/lines/under eye circles.  I would look 10 years younger after it.  She stated that since I'm 33, I'd look 23.  She showed me a quick PowerPoint presentation.  Interestingly, the before and after images weren't actually that dramatic.  You'd think they'd use their best cases for a presentation so it doesn't really give the impression of being fantastic.
The presentation was followed by her taking out the calculator and telling me about the promo they had. I zoned out for most of her calculations after I realised she was basing them on 6 treatments and the reduced price cost was around $2400!!

I said I wanted to think about it so she offered me a free trial of it to see what the treatment was like and meet the nurse.  She got me a slot an hour later.  I went for lunch and came back.  I was on time, they were around 25 minutes late.  The nurse, to be fair, was fantastic.  The first thing she said was "you don't need this!".  She thought peels or Fotofacial would be more appropriate.  She reckoned Fotofacial would be better for evening out colouration and tone.  She said the tightening was usually for people in their 40s and 50s but that I looked OK for 33!

She kindly did the treatment anyway just to see what it was like.  The mini test is around the eyes.  I was given protective goggles and the area was covered in gel.  She ran the handpiece over the lateral (outside) borders of my eyes.  I could see a tiny flash of light with every pulse and felt some heat each time but it wasn't painful.  Apparently full face takes approximately 40 minutes.

I had to meet another consultant then who gave me more quotes-special offer, today only etc etc.  Again, I said I wanted to think about it all.  She was very nice about it all though.  Gave me her card and said she'd be there until 8pm.

So, here are the eyes that apparently look like someone in their 40s or 50s:

I'll agree that the areas under my eyes are puffy but I think lack of sleep contributes.  I also think a bit of Restylane in my tear troughs might help more.  There are tiny lines, but I hadn't been overly concerned by the ones at the edge of my eye and I'm wary of what I'd do with the ones on my lower lid.  Danger zone!

I did a quick search on RealSelf and it comes up as ReFirme.  Opinions are mixed and certainly not worth coughing up $2500 when money is tight!

What really stopped me though?

The sales pitch.  I barely got to talk about my concerns before I was told I was basically in terrible shape and in need of major anti-aging work.   I was bombarded with information about something I hadn't even considered and felt pressurised into agreeing.  I was given the "this offer is only for today" pitch which I despise.  I've had it in gyms before and have always scurried to the door.   She promised something that she actually could never back up and that wasn't going to happen-that I would look 10 years younger.  Doubtless the estimation of my age would be based on her impressions!  I liked the nurse immensely and if I had spent most of my time with her and not felt like I had to sign up for a series of treatments, I might have considered it.  The way it was though?  No way.

In contrast, Dr Torgerson did suggest something I hadn't thought about the day I went in for my Botox injection (initial treatment).  He suggested filler in my tear troughs.  It was done completely differently though.  It was a "something you might like to think about" and he said (lied) that he was just being picky and mean.  There was no way I felt under pressure to decide that day.  At all.  I got to go home and Google etc.  (This description by Dr Ravi Jain is my favourite) I still don't have the money for it right now, but if I had I'd probably do it.  Because it's my decision and I'd feel like I had made it with all the best information and without being rushed...

Heidi Montag claims plastic surgery botched

Strangely enough, I was thinking about Heidi Montag today.  I had been pondering the prospect of fillers in my face and how important it is to do it properly.  She often comes to mind as someone who I thought looked much prettier before she had plastic surgery.  Her breasts look ridiculous but her face bothers me more.  She was an attractive girl before, but after the surgery just ended up with a bland look-the same as all the other cookie cutter Hollywood Hills types.

There's nothing too much that's wrong in isolation.  Her nose is a good nose.  Her chin is a good chin.  Her lips are a bit big, but not terrible.  It's the face as a whole that doesn't really work for me.  She looks plastic.

Anyway, the latest is that she's gone to the magazines saying that she has awful scars from surgery and that she wasn't fully informed of all the risks before the procedures.

There's more here on the Daily Mail website.

While I feel a little sorry for her, it's hard to know who is mostly to blame here.  She says surgeons act as if they're giving out cookies.  Maybe some are a little over confident and minimise risks...but I think that is true of many (if not most) surgeons-not just cosmetic surgeons.  A certain amount of ego helps to get ahead and, more importantly, a degree of confidence is necessary to undertake any procedures.  Would you really want to have someone who is terrified and shaking to be close to you with a scalpel?  If every surgeon went through every single potential complication that possibly could happen (remember, it always includes death) and gave each the same emphasis, then nobody would every have an operation.

One of her biggest complaints seems to be bad scars.  I can only see the scar under her chin in those photos.  It's not a great one, to be fair.  However, there's sometimes only so much the surgeon can do.  They can do their best to do neat sutures but individual factors come into play.  Some people have skin that develops keloid scars or a less severe type-hypertrophic scars.  Wound infections or traction forces (e.g. from swelling or movement) can lead to poor healing with wider or irregular scars.  It's a risk of any procedure.

I'm not sure what was said to her during her consent.  I have absolutely no idea what she believed going into it, but as patients we can't really claim ignorance any longer.  NO procedure is without at least some risk.  Yes, the person doing it should tell us what to expect but we have an obligation too.  We need to do the research and make sure that the potential benefits outweigh the risks.

There's no such thing as a free lunch; and there's no procedure without risk.

Claire Danes and Latisse

I came across this article during my Latisse googling: Claims that Claire Danes suffered eyelid pigmentation from using Latisse.  Her management have quashed the claims and threatened legal action if they continued.
She does a really enthusiastic video testimonial on the Allergan Latisse website here.  I can't see any evidence of skin darkening on her gallery photos but they look airbrushed anyway so hard to tell.  Even if it was true though, it's something that wouldn't bother me enormously.  It is reversible so if I was unlucky enough to get it I could just stop.  Personally haven't noticed any skin change at all.  My eyes did feel a bit irritated intially but I still don't know how much of that was Latisse and how much was colder, drier weather and lots of heating indoors.
I've learnt most from reviews on Real Self and Makeup Alley.  MakeupAlley requires you to sign up to see all the content and search but it's free and worth it!  People have reported skin discolouration but it doesn't sound like the discolouration in the article.  Some had redness and some said they looked more tired when it transferred to lower lid.  It doesn't sound as dramatic as the Claire Danes claims!
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed and continuing.  I've been using thinner disposable eyeliner brushes to be more precise in the application-find the brushes in the pack too clumsy and they end up treating a lot of my lid.  Time will tell!

As an aside, I think Brooke Shields does a pretty woeful job of selling the product in her video diary.  I could summon up more enthusiasm with only the idea that it may be working!

Quick jog in the morning to prevent holiday weight gain?

I'm already carrying way more pounds than I'm happy with at the moment so I really don't want to add to it over the holidays.  I came across this article yesterday which had an interesting suggestion-exercising on an empty stomach.
"Fasted cardio" has been a favourite of many bodybuilders for a while when looking for fat loss.  Other fitness professionals argue against it either maintaining that it doesn't work or that people don't do a decent workout when fasted overnight.  The study reported here split young males into 3 groups and fed them a high fat, increased calorie diet.  The control group did no exercise, one group did endurance training (running/biking) with carbohydrates before and during and the last group did their endurance training fasted.
At the end, the control group gained weight, the fed exercisers gained less....but the fasted exercise group gained the least, showed no signs of insulin resistance and seemed to burn fat more efficiently.

Sounds simple?

I've just started reading the full journal article to try to tell more and I"ll update when I do.  Skimming the first few paragraphs raises a few issues already though:
-Small group (28 in total)
-They were all regular exercisers.  The results may not be applicable to a wider population
-All male
-Lunch was supervised but on weekends they were instructed to replicate the meals as well as they could and log it.  There's no knowing what they actually ate
-The control group hadn't gained as much weight as expected by 2 weeks so they increased their calories by 500kcal!

It doesn't look like it's going to be a fantastic study but it's something interesting to try.  It wouldn't kill me to do a little workout on Christmas morning as my gift to self!

Latisse is a maybe today!

I popped back into Dr Torgerson's office today.  Still not sure if I had enough of a response to my Botox treatment so I emailed the office and they brought me in today.  Very glad of the day off to do things like this!
Everyone was really nice.  Coffee (yum) and a brief wait before seeing Dr T.   He was lovely.  I felt like a bit of an idiot for wasting his time but he was good about it.  He said the result was good but we may as well kill it totally and gave me another few units.  Painless and quick.

While I was there I was watching a little monitor in the treatment room which was scrolling  through adverts for Botox, Juvederm and Latisse.  He told me they had Latisse.  I had to let him know I was one of his first buyers!  He reckons best results will be after 6-8 weeks.

Later I was in the Bay at the Lancome counter looking at mascaras and debating the different types.  The assistant reckoned I didn't really need a lengthening one since my eyelashes are long.  Nobody has ever said that before!

Here's the picture of me in mascara now.  Brows are crazy-am letting them grow in a bit before going for professional shaping.  Also using Latisse on the edges to try to even the brow.   We'll see!

Mascara is Clinique high impact  curling-gives good curl!  "Tube" type (quick description of tubing mascaras.  Warning!  Page plays stupid adverts and difficult to find the stop button

Latisse-yes or no?

I've been pondering the Latisse for the past few days in particular.  I do genuinely believe my lashes are a little longer.  If I use a curling mascara they definitely are more prominent.
What bothers me still is the idea of putting something known to cause iris pigmentation-albeit through a different route of administration-onto my lash line just to have longer lashes.  Fine, there were no reported cases in the trials and there are apparently no reported cases since it was approved.  But is this definitely true?  Searching around online yields people who say they've suffered the pigmentation.  Perhaps they're lying, but there are a few unsettling things:

• Latisse only launched in the US in 2009.  That means less than 2 years of follow-up of the product being used by large numbers of people
• Allergan reckon that Latisse supplies 1/20th of the dose of Lumigan when applied as directed.  Does this mean they expect a dose to the eye itself?
• Allergan have already been cautioned by the FDA for minimising the risks associated with the product in their promotional material.
• Eyes at highest risk for pigmentation seem to be those that already have some brown pigment-hazel and green.  Like mine.

When I was at the plastic surgeons office and he was telling me about it and recommending it to me I asked about the iris pigmentation.  He said there was no chance of it.  I think most prescribers would agree.  He told me his assistant who had blue eyes hadn't suffered any problems.  However:

• The assistant had used the product for less than 2 months.  The problems with Lumigan seemed to be at the 6-12 month mark
• She had blue eyes.  With no brown pigment.  She was therefore at a lower risk anyway.
• Allergan recommends that patients are informed of the potential risk for iris pigmentation, likely permanent....they had to because we know that Lumigan can cause it.  So it can't be ruled out.

I think the risk with Latisse is probably tiny.   I do think it raises the issue of how easily we dismiss risks just to look better!  I was happy to get carried away thinking about the longer, thicker lashes and ignore the reality of applying a medicinal product.  I like my eyes.  They're the one thing I wouldn't change.  I'm not sure what I'll do!  Reviews on RealSelf and Makeupalley are mainly very positive.  The results I get will help me to decide.  I could imagine wanting to continue if the results were striking.  At the moment I'm considering finishing this bottle and then just switch to Rapid Lash or the Dermaglow lash enhance.  They may not work but they're unlikely to destroy my eyes.  There's always mascara....

The teeth that stole Christmas....

Experimenting with Botox and Latisse has been pretty fun.  Whether or not they will be repeated is to be decided!
Unfortunately the much more necessary (and far more expensive) semi-cosmetic work that I'm getting done is on my teeth.
I've had problems with my teeth for years and years.  I always had fillings and got my first root canal at 14. I do know I brushed my teeth, but I don't think I was brought to the dentist too frequently.  I had a fantastic and absolutely lovely dentist at home who devoted hours and hours to trying to keep my mouth together.  He kindly suggested that maybe my enamel isn't great, leaving me susceptible to more decay.  I also tend to grind my teeth at night if stressed or if my teeth change so break down restorations and crack fillings.
My mouth is now disastrous.  I can't get away with anything but an implant in my right upper jaw.  It will be joining the implant I had a couple of years ago in my upper right 4.   The 5 is missing so the oral surgeon want to extract my upper right 6 (which is in bad shape), do a sinus graft, place an implant there and bridge from 4 to 6.  He didn't think there was enough space for implanting all of them.  I hate bridges and don't trust them so am dreading it.

The situation on the left is even worse.  Can't afford implants on that side and am missing the upper left 5 there too.  My dentist is trying a bridge.  I didn't want him to go near my healthy 4 so he agreed to do a cantilever bridge which is supported on one side only.  That meant involving a heavily filled 6 which I didn't mind too much...but also the 7 which had a smaller filling.  I'm devastated about that.  Every crown and bridge I've had has resulted in decay, falling out and complete misery for me.  Now I have 3 teeth in a bridge and have totally destroyed my 6 and 7 forever.  I'm going to be afraid to eat on it ever because the idea of spitting 3 teeth into my hand in public is so humiliating.  And after Jan 4th when the upper right 6 is also extracted, solid food really won't be an option for months on end.

Why did they steal Christmas?  They're costing so much that I don't get to go home and feel terrible about every penny spent.


Broke and terrified to eat anything that involves biting or chewing.  2011 promises to be....fabulous :-(

Side by side

Dug up better angle for before Latisse.  I think the difference is minimal after almost a month:

Before

After

One month on!

Thought I'd be updating this more often...but it's hardly like anyone is reading it anyway!
Have been bothered by the effect of the Botox since I got it.  Zero side effects; just not sure I've gotten the desired effect.   It's really difficult to know what to expect as a first timer.  I can still frown, but it's not at all as strong as it was.  My worry is that it's still enough to keep the lines showing.  Unfortunately I can't actually ask the person who injected me, but I did manage to get some answers on RealSelf about the expected outcome and whether or not I needed a topup.  Some answers were more useful than others.  Some didn't even read the question.   But it mainly seems like practices differ-some like to completely remove movement, others don't.  One mentioned that it should reduce motion enough to soften the lines.  I really do think it should be better

This is me at a month (and still struggling to capture it properly on phone camera!)

I'm going to email the office and see if they can find an appointment for me.  I could only get in Tuesdays, evenings or weekends for the last few weeks and they said nothing was available.

Now...the Latisse!

I'm still terrified using it every day.  They completely dismissed any worries regarding iris colour change in the office and pointed to one of the assistants with blue eyes who had no issues.  A bit of Googling showed that light blue eyes weren't the highest risk anyway.  My type of eyes are-light brown/green that already contain some brown.  There are also unsubstantiated claims of Latisse-induced iris darkening on some blog comments/reviews etc online.  I know Allergan claim none in the clinical trial but 100 participants in it is nothing.
I've  had some itching and dry eyes with it-mainly the first two weeks.  Part of it could be the dry winter air and all the heating indoors too though.  I tried morning application for a while-didn't make much difference.  I gave up on the enclosed brushes after reading reviews on makeupalley and invested in some disposable eyeliner brushes instead.  They are much easier to handle and apply more accurately.  As for effects?  I'm not sure.  Maybe seem slightly longer when I put on my mascara.  Pics are below...I'm getting better at taking these ones at least:

 Hard to tell!

Next post: teeth that stole Christmas and made me cry, plus planning Christmas away from friends and family!

One week down

One week post Botox and I can still frown.  Which I do at the thought of still be able to :-(
I do think the force of contraction of the muscles has reduced-it's a weaker action.  I also think that the more lateral (further out) muscles are contributing more now than they did before.  It's still disappointing though.  They rang from Dr Torgerson's office to do a follow-up yesterday.  I said I could still frown and the receptionist recommended waiting until tomorrow and if still not noticing a complete effect to ring back and she'd get me in to see him first thing Monday morning.  Which is nice, but obviously won't be happening since I'll be in work Monday.  Don't think a Botox top-up would really count as a medical emergency.  Luckily I'd already decided not to over-react and run looking for more too early thanks to @DrRaviJain, my Twitter friend.  It was so nice to just ask a simple question and get a "don't worry" back.

2 days of Latisse done.  Application process is a bit fiddly-http://www.latisse.com/HowtoApply.aspx?state=15
Still a bit terrified of iris colour change even though no cases have been reported.  My eyes are at highest risk because they're kind of a mixed light colour already containing some brown.  Will give it the month anyway.  Think it feels a little irritated along lash line but possibly over conscious!

Also, interesting GoWear Fit realisation.  It's like the Bodybugg.  Skipped gym tonight to go meet some friends from home who were visiting.  Did walk to their hotel etc but nothing strenuous.  Calories burned only 200 less than on days I do a good gym session.  Interesting/depressing!

Day 5 and some eyelash fluttering!

Today was day 5 post Botox.   I spent the weekend frowning away to myself to see if I still could.  The day after I was convinced my nose felt funny but then I realised that it was just slightly itchy and it went away (hello, hypochondria/paranoia).  I really felt very little difference over the weekend.  By yesterday (day 4) I felt that my frown had lessened.  Today is day 5 and I can still frown a little but it takes more of an effort.  It feels like it's a weaker expression too.  I frown less enthusiastically!  I've read that it can take a week or so for the full effects so will see how it goes and whether the effects become more pronounced before I ask about a top-up.
This is day 5:

Hard to tell the effects based on the photo which isn't helped by the harsh daylight and hasty make-up application.

I called into Dr Torgerson's office today to pick up some Latisse.  It's the new big thing in eyelash enhancement!  I remember reading about the drug used in it years ago when it was a glaucoma medication.  They had found that people using Lumigan grew longer lashes.  I was very tempted to get my hands on some having stubby, sparse lashes.  The (rare) side effect of darkening of the iris stopped me though.  Allergan (again) decided to make a formulation for eyelashes though and it's just arrived in Canada so I picked some up from Dr Torgerson's.   It's expensive ($160 for a month's supply-shudder) but I wanted to give it a try.  I've also spent money on plenty of lash enhancers that did nothing at all and saw one priced at $170 in Sephora.  I'd also just been to see an oral surgeon about a dental implant and that looked to be so awfully drawn out, expensive and miserable that I was in the mood for a splurge.
It comes in a box with 60 little applicators packed in 2s.  The idea is to apply a drop from the little bottle and use one applicator for each eye, once a day.
Box and applicators:

I also got a cute bag for it which definitely justified the price :-)

Eyelashes before:

 These frequent photos are making me think I need to pay more attention to my eyebrows...and also that I quite possibly need a nose job.  Nose job won't be happening though!  Sigh.

Also saw Dr Torgerson on Global News 16:9 where they did an exposé on nurses/aestheticians injecting without full supervision and dodgy companies selling Botox online.  Glad I went to a real clinic! This link should work for a while.  It's the "Worry Lines" episode.  Scary stuff!

The Big Botox day

My appointment with Dr Torgerson eventually arrived.  I was terrified.  I'm not usually a bad patient but this really did worry me.  I was volunteering for a medical procedure based purely on vanity.  No medical need whatsoever.  It wasn't going to make me healthier, just a bit less grumpy looking.  And for that I was risking a frozen face and droopy eyes.  Was I crazy?  What would my mother say if she knew?  And why was I spending so much on myself when I should be saving to go home and visit my family?!?

Despite the major butterflies (seriously-they were more like huge flapping bats) in my stomach, I arrived at Dr Torgerson's office.  My nerves pretty much vanished when I met his office staff-Helen and Breanne.   They are so nice and so warm.  It was impossible to stay worried!  Helen is also Irish which was a bonus.  I was given a lengthy medical questionnaire and a cup of coffee and settled down to my form filling.

Dr Torgerson was maybe half an hour late seeing me but the time passed quickly and he was obviously with someone else-not just messing around on Facebook or something!  Helen took my "before" headshots and I waited in a big dentist-like chair in the treatment room.

When Dr Torgerson came in, any lingering fears vanished.  He is immensely likeable and spent the first few minutes just chatting about my work, the move to Toronto and so on.  We then discussed the Botox and he commented that glabellar lines are perfect for it (I think they were the initial cosmetic indication too).  He explained the physiology of action, the duration, what I'd expect during and after the procedure and potential complications.   He likes to completely freeze the muscles involved in creating those lines (which he likes to call "concentration lines") unlike other parts of the face where he tries to retain more movement.  The usual dose he uses is 25 units.  He then said there was one more thing that I might benefit from at some point.  My heart sank.  I'd been dreading the critical eye of a plastic surgeon and the pronouncement that I needed a nose job, a jaw revision, new ears, Botox all over, new lips.  "In fact", I was sure he'd say, "we should just get a refund on this face and get you a new one altogether".  He didn't.  With apologies for being mean and picky, he said that I had "tear troughs"-a fold/hollow at the edge of the eye.  He reckoned it probably looked flatter and I looked more drawn when tired.  I had to agree.  He told me that filler (like Restylane) could be injected to plump it-giving a fresher appearance.  He by no means pushed the procedure-just said it was something to think about.  These photos made me think that he's probably right!  Still can't afford it though.

Anyway, I signed my consent form for the procedure and we got on with it.  His fancy chair can be tipped back and he told me that he uses a teeny tiny needle (32G!) for the injections.  I was given a squeezy Botox toy just in case.  The injections were really fine.  5 of them in total.  Some felt a bit funny-like a crunchy sensation by the inner brow-but perfectly tolerable.  It really is just a little pinch.  I held a little gauze to my head for a few minutes and then was ready to go.  He said it would take at least 3 days to show an effect and that top-ups were free if I didn't see enough of a change.   He also mentioned that they were getting Latisse the following week...which definitely sounded interesting too!

I chatted with Helen and headed out the door.

How did I feel?  Fine.  Can't say there was much of a sensation.  That part of my forehead felt a little fuller than usual and a bit heavy but didn't really bother me.  The tiny marks weren't even visible.  I went home, my Botox virginity lost forever...

Choosing someone to allow near me with a needle...

Having made the decision to go ahead with Botox, I was left with the task of choosing who and where!
The options in general seem to be:

• Doctor who specialises in cosmetic procedures: plastic surgeon/dermatologist/cosmetic doctor
• Doctor who did a course in Botox and does some injections to earn some extra cash (usually a GP)
• Nurse working for a doctor-variable degrees of supervision
• An aesthetician of some sort-spa or salon

I have nothing against nurses.  In fact, I think they're often better at procedures than doctors sometimes-they take more care.  However, when it comes to a neurotoxin being injected into my face, I basically want somebody with all the bells and whistles!

Botox is generally regarded to be safe but there are complications and risks with any medical procedure.  And it is just that.  A medical procedure.  Not a pedicure.

Risks include:

• Spreading to muscles not injected
• Eyelid or eyebrow ptosis (drooping)
• Facial asymmetry
• Difficulty breathing or swallowing
• Flu-like illness
• Local effects: bruising, pain
• Just getting the wrong effect!  Looking "frozen" or "done"

So who to go to?  I Googled around a bit and found it hard to decide.  Some providers charge per unit of Botox-from $10-$15/unit.   The amount they use in different areas varies though.  Allergan (who make Botox) suggest 20 units for glabellar lines but some will use 30 or 35.  And men need more.  Groupon or someone had a $99/20 units special from DLK dermatology on Avenue Road in Toronto but it was a nurse injection and they wouldn't even give information about what times they were available by email.  If you won't email me, I can't be bothered.

I decided to potter along to the National Women's Show in the Metro Convention Centre in Toronto the weekend before last.  Free samples were promised so I paid $14 to go (this grasp of economics may explain my financial issues).  There was a mix of stands-food, travel, beauty, massage...and some cosmetic surgery ones.  I spent a while watching Restylane injections which was interesting and then pottered around a bit more.  One laser centre stand had a hand-written sign offering Botox and saying it was $8/unit.  A woman in a white coat was manning it with a  baby in her arms.  She chatted to me while quieting the baby and then the doctor joined in.  Apparently it's $8/unit if the nurse does it and they were offering something like $10/unit for the show.  They were injecting patients perched on a bench in the middle of the hall.  He took out a crumpled diagram to show me that glabellar lines needed 30-40 units.  I decided to think about it.

They were announcing the end of the show when I passed another stand.  It was larger and looked professional with a surgical chair shielded by a screen.  The doctor could be seen around the side and he waved cheerily when he turned around and saw me watching.  He then went back to work on injecting though and seemed to concentrate completely on what he was doing.  He looked young and friendly so I picked up a brochure.  His name was Dr Cory Torgerson and he was a surgeon who initially trained in ENT surgery and then did further post graduate training in facial plastic surgery.  His practice was all facial cosmetic surgery-rhinoplasties, blepharoplasties, injectables etc etc and located in Yorkville, Toronto.  I browsed the website and liked what I saw.  I also had a look at http://www.ratemds.com/ and the ratings were mainly positive (some a bit tooooo positive, a couple unhappy; overall very good).

I decided to email the office and see what they said.  One of my first questions was "who does the injections?" and then if there were any openings on the Thursday and the cost.  The response from Breanne was rapid.  Dr Torgerson himself does all the injections.  She said I could pop in for a consultation that Thursday at 12.15pm.  Consultations are always free.  Their Botox is also per area-$300 each.

I liked the rapid reply, the friendly tone, the fact that he does all his own injections and the free consultation so I decided to go ahead.  Breanne even patiently dealt with me changing my mind about the time the next day when I asked for a later appointment instead.  Had completely forgotten a midday work meeting. 

I read Botox horror stories while waiting for the day to arrive and asked cosmetic doctor Twitter friends (@EternalYouth and @DrRaviJain) if I'd be frozen after it.  Eek!

Braving Botox

If you read any magazine/newspaper/website or watch Desperate Housewives on even an occasional basis, it seems like Botox is everywhere and on a par with brushing your teeth as part of a grooming routine.  We've all heard of Botox parties and even some scary stories of people buying it from Ebay-one of whom was injecting her teenage daughter: scary!  There are also many many examples of bad Botox-like most of the cast of Desperate Housewives, Lisa Rinna, Nicole Kidman...and that cat woman, Jocelyn Wildenstein:

OK, granted, she had a LOT of surgery to look that way...but she's definitely a cautionary tale.

Maybe I think of things a little differently being Irish.  I know many people at home do get Botox but it's definitely not as open as it is here and most wouldn't admit to it.  It is kind of seen as vanity.  And an expensive vanity!

I've been considering it for years though-initially for a deep crease in my forehead, but that seems pretty static.  What has bothered me more over the past year though are my frown lines.  They're also known as glabellar lines or 11s.  I feel like they appeared overnight!   One morning I looked in the mirror and there they were.  I tried various lotions/potions/scrubs.  I must have been frowning a lot because they got worse if anything and sometimes I even woke with a frown on my face.  The lines gave me a frowny and perpetually perplexed expression.  It went beyond looking my age (or older) and made me look grumpy and unapproachable!

I read and I pondered.  I gave it a year of watching them get worse before deciding to go ahead and try it all at least once.

Before pics (frowning):

Cringe-worthy.  Particularly my pores.  Yikes!  They may have to be addressed.  Gives some idea of my frown though.

The beginning...

So, I've been a long time reading blogs and thinking that I don't have anything particularly interesting to say!
This is a little bit of a journal and the first "event" is something I've been itching to tell people but wanted to keep quiet too-my first Botox injections!
The title is based on something a former boss told me.  Apparently women always get to subtract 5 years from their age.  I turned 33 two months ago so therefore am now 28!
I've been noticing the changes in my face and body as time has passed so this blog will aim to document my battle to keep them at bay and hopefully change for the better.  I'm also a recent import to Canada from Ireland so I'm sure my attempts to adapt to life in North America will also feature :-)